dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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