I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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