Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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