Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
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I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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