then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
