this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
