I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
