Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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