____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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