Yo dont text me then not text me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
