So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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