I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
