ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
