ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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