I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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