he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
