i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
where does the pee come out of this thing
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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