I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
