whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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