You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
