I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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