i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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