I feel great
I just peed on a car
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
