I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
