i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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