You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
