We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just had sex on a roof
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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