Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
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They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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