I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
