Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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