Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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