oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
