Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
