Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
