If that was your dad, he is hot
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
