So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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