i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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