Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
