I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
as a side note pls kill me
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