we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
