Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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