I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
