..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
