She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
we're so committed to being not committed
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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