so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Found your dick twin last night
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
