Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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