dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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