i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
