forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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