Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
