Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
