My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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