Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
