That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize