Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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