Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
