no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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