he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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