Whod you bang
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
