dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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