So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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